Teach Your Man How to Make Love to You

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It’d be nice if our men intuitively knew what we wanted, but they don’t. They really don’t. Most men have no clue what women want.

You can’t blame your man for brining you chocolate when you are on a low carb diet. You can’t blame him for taking you out for Mexican when he should know already that you hate spicy food. You can’t blame him for buying you flowers when you really just want to hear the words, “I love you.”

Men really are clueless. Almost all of them are.

But it is also true that they really want to please you, they just don’t know where and how to do it. Their pleasure is largely dependent on your pleasure. When you’re not having that much fun, they know, and it makes sex less exciting and a little disappointing to them, too. So they’d really appreciate some tips on how to make sex fun!

But most importantly, when you start sharing what you want, you open up to him. You become more sexual. And that’s sexy, in and of itself! When you’re honest, especially about something so personal, you will feel closer, and that makes sex hotter, too!

Here are 7 ways to tell him what you in bed:

1When he touches somewhere you like, make sure he knows!

Moan a lot. Seriously. Say, “oh, yes, that feels so so good”, or “right there, baby”. If you’re too shy to actually say, “I want you to do xyz”, then make sure that every time he comes anywhere near doing xyz, you moan and give him some positive reinforcement!

2.Guide his hand (or whatever else!)

Can’t say it out loud? Take his hand (or whatever else, you know what we mean!) and show him where you want to be touched. Be active! Don’t just lie there and let him make all the love to you; be an active participant and make things happen.

3. Be the one in control

Taking #2 a step further, if you’re the one initiating sex and running things, you can often make them go the way you want them to. So if you’re the one who starts making love, and you start rubbing against him, or climbing on top and changing things so the angle is just right, or taking his hand and showing him, that can work well, too. And then he knows more what turns you on when he sees the effect it’s having!

4. Play a teacher

Decide that tonight you’re going to be the “teacher”, where you instruct him for 15 minutes on what he’s doing, and he only gets his “prize” if he “passes”. This can be a fun one, because you can tell him, “not so rough”, or “slower”, or “more circles”, or whatever it may be. If you’re playing a teacher, then it is not always as intimidating. This often works well if you BOTH have a chance. You be teacher one night and he can be teacher the next night.

5. Make him stay still and “use” him

Sometimes we just don’t know what we want. We’re not sure what feels good. Using his body with the expectation that you will set the agenda can help you explore more without worrying that he’d rather just “get on with things”. So set the timer for 10 minutes, or 15 minutes, or however long you want and tell him under no circumstances is he allowed to move – or even talk. If you get nervous about what he’s thinking or that he may not respect you or that he may think foreplay is silly, then having him talk can also get your anxiety level up again. But if he’s not allowed to move or say anything and you can just use any part of him that you want, then this can be much easier (you can tell him he can move his mouth if you put something there, for instance). But this lets you explore his body and figure out what you like about it, too.

Often when we make love we rush through, and then we don’t always figure out what’s really fun. Take the time to figure out what you actually like!

6. Show him what feels good yourself

This one takes some courage, and not everyone is comfortable doing it. But the vast majority of men really do enjoy it. Show him how you want to be touched by touching yourself. We are not talking about full-blown masturbation here, like seriously, NO. It’s just that if you can show him how you want him to touch you, then he may “get” it a little bit better.

7. Write down some new things you’d like to try

Another version of #6 might be easy: Write down 3-4 things you’d like to try on paper, and have him do the same thing. Put your papers in an envelope and his in an envelope, and every few weeks one of you draws out a piece of paper and you do what it says. That way you’re each trying what the other person wants.

Again, if you have reservations about something, remember that you never have to do anything that you feel is uncomfortable or you don’t like. But sometimes it’s nice to spice things up!

We guarantee that most men would love it if you opened up and did more things like this. Start with #1 and #2, and move your way down as you get more comfortable.

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